Tuesday, April 5, 2011


When we embarked on this journey there were a couple of close friends that I told, let them know "we've pulled the goalie and we're pretty excited." At that time, I didn't think I'd share any of this with co-workers, or family members until we could surprise them with the good news. Over time though my circle of support has grown and I'm so very thankful for those who've become a part of my life on this journey and when I think of the purpose of our struggle, I also think of the people I wouldn't know if our journey hadn't been a rocky one.

In our very first month of seeking pregnancy, we actually succeeded, but we found out in a backwords way through a blood test that I was pregnant, even though I thought I had my period--it was a miscarriage, very early but a miscarriage nonetheless. That led me to Doctor Google of course where I found the baby center forums and a thread about surviving a Chemical Pregnancy and another thread with some witty name about creating our little Firecrackers (if we'd gotten pregnant that next month we would have had a July due date). Well needless to say those particular threads are gone, but those women became an integral source of support and encouragement through this and are now people I consider my friends even though I've only met one of them in real life. We actually have  private forums for both of those groups now so we can continue to follow each others journeys to parenthood and beyond. Almost everyone on both of my threads have their little ones or have little ones on the way and, one way or another, I hope to join them soon. These women were an integral source of support early on when I didn't want anyone in our real life to know what we were going through until we surprised them with news of our success and have continued to cheer me on and fill me with hope each time we embark on a new phase of our journey.

It was during this time, in our first 6 months of seeking fertility that it became quite clear that something wasn't quite right with me and my source of support came from an amazing OB/Gyn who finally gave a name to my pain and eventually did a laproscopic surgery to diagnose and remove endometriosis and gave me a reprieve  from the pain that I'd been experiencing. During this time family support entered the picture as the closest women of my life were no longer out of the loop. After all, I was having surgery and whose mother wouldn't kill them if they found out you had surgery and kept them in the dark?! Certain things mothers, sisters and mothers-in law expect to be able to support you through so my circle of support grew from a few very close friends, to my on-line circle, to my family.

Although all of these supporters gave it there all, there was one thing missing and that was a community of women who don't just sympathize with me, but are actually going through it with me. In search of this, I found an amazing Fertile Grounding Yoga workshop with the great Jennifer Coletti as an instructor. These classes and the workshop connected me to a support group of real life women, going through real life fertility challenges right along side me and these women are now among the greatest of supporters. They are an inspiration of hope and they will all be amazing mothers one day.

I can't imagine embarking on this journey without support and at first all I needed was a couple of friends cheering us on, but as our road to parenthood got steeper, and my circle of support got wider, I realized that the world where fertility or lack of is hush hush  is a dangerous place. I don't know how I'd pull myself out of the days when our hopes were dashed if I didn't have all of these people to pick me up and most of all an amazing husband that knows just how to make me laugh find the lighter side of life-He is most definitely my balance and helps me put one foot in front of the other on the hard days and enjoy the easy ones to the fullest.


  1. I can't believe that our firecracker thread brought us to where we are now but I am so thankful that I have found such a great friend in you. You are an inspiration to us all and you will be an awesome mommy one day soon. Feeling like I have known you forever and sharing all that we have in our private group about such personal things in life and never having met in person is such a cool thing. The friendships we have in our BBC group are awesome and the support we receive from one another is truly amazing. I'm so glad we formed such a great group of women to help pull us through the difficult days of the journey to motherhood and yet will still be there when we need them for the actual parenting advice. Hopefully we can arrange a meeting someday soon when we're all mommies! :)

  2. Erin-I'm also amazed, when I sat down with Peguy for dinner, I couldn't believe how it felt no different than if I were having dinner with one of my old college roommates or a high school friend...I feel like we've been a part of so much of each others lives it doesn't matter that we've really only known each other a year and a half or so.

  3. Ariane - I totally felt the same way like I had known you forever. I was so happy to finally meet you. I am so glad I found that thread. I am going to be so excited when you get pregnant and this journey is finally over or at least on to the next step.