Monday, April 4, 2011


So in September of 2009, Marty and I were driving (this is where all serious discussions initiated by Marty occur), and he starts rambling about this new money/budgeting website that is just amazing and I'm thinking "woohoo, like I'd keep up with that any better than I do any of my current online calendars and accounts...fat chance." Well he winds it around and  ends up very practically, in true Marty fashion, sharing that his big discovery while creating our lifelong budget on was that we should have kids now. My response to this was a shrieked "NOW?!" Not that I didn't want children, I did, I just totally always thought I would find ready before my husband did, never thought it would be HIS idea. So I said I had to think about it, talk to my doctor, all that make sure I'm ready business, but little did I know that trying for children NOW didn't mean that you were going to get children NOW. Also, I have to say, that the minute that I came around to the idea a switch flipped and we were all in, and when NOW proved to be months from NOW or years from NOW, I found myself dumbfounded and shocked that this same body that had climbed Mount Fuji for me, run marathons for me, danced in front of hundreds of people for me was NOW going to fail me.

So that all started in September of 2009 and the real question is where are we NOW in  April of 2011, 18 months past NOW and the answer is embarking on our 3rd round of injectable treatments and 2nd IUI and our final round covered by insurance. Up until now, we've been going with the flow doing what doctors say is best and hoping they can help us get right what we can't seem to on our own. It started with a laporoscopic surgery in June of 2010 to diagnose and remove painful endometriosis and cysts. Then everything just went whacky in my body and I had to take Clomid for four months to get everything working right again and when that didn't take it was time to make the move from my OB/Gyn to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who could take us to the next steps. Those next steps mean ultrasounds and blood draws every three days for the first half of my cycle while giving myself injections to control the growth of extra follicles (eggs) that will hopefully be super eggs and go racing straight for Marty's super sperm (which we have actually confirmed that he has....lucky guy!) and then the dreaded two week wait to find out if it all worked and as of now the devastating day when we find out it didn't. So where are we NOW? We are trying to be really hopeful that this time around (quite possibly our last, because of funding and the insurance cut off) will take, that this time around will end with a gleeful day, not a devastating one, that this time around we'll see that beautiful test that reads in perfect little letters, "Pregnant."

This is our journey to grow our family so far, we don't know what twists it will take and we take it one day at a time because we've learned we can't have it all NOW! Some masterpieces take years to perfect and our little Kokes, where ever he or she (or they given the treatments we're going through) is,  has been working on making sure we don't for one second forget how very important they are when they finally arrive!


  1. THIS masterpiece will be soooo worth the wait! My prayers are with you each and every day that your body is NOW ready to carry that beautiful masterpiece.And that if its not, that you will soon be blessed with the PERFECT addition to your family in another way. Love you girly!

  2. What a great idea!!! Some day you will be able to come back and this will all be a distant memory and you will have your little Kokes running around!!

  3. I have learned that nothing in life no matter how well I plan it arrives NOW. It has taken me a long time to process this obvious piece of information about life but I know that there is a perfect time and place for everything. Sometimes the things we want the most in life make the wait even more worthwhile because we seem to appreciate the gifts and the journey it took to receive the gift a little more. Your NOW moment will be here soon and you'll be full of so many different emotions that you never expected to have all at once and when that moment arrives each one of us will here celebrating with you, watching your tummy grow as your family begins to take shape and you'll then be wondering what the next NOW moment will be! Hang in there, maintain your positive attitude and keep your eyes on the finish line. :)

  4. This is such a great narration. You make me want to blog :)

  5. Thanks ladies!I'm so glad you all get to join me on this journey.