Sunday, May 1, 2011

Looking forward!

While I had breakfast with one of my best gals this morning, I was excited to share my plans for mother's day weekend-regardless of the results. You see there's this room. It is the maybe baby's room. A year and a half ago when we fist started seeking pregnancy, I got really excited about our future new addition and started to reorganize this room and move my sewing and craft stuff up to a different room and get this room ready to be a bedroom. I was about half way through the project when I got the phone call telling me that I was pregnant and I knew that this wasn't a good call-those were my blood test results from the day before, the day before I wasn't bleeding, the day I got the call I was. This was the call telling me that what I thought was my period was a miscarriage. May I add that I was standing in front of a room full of 3rd graders when I got this call. Needless to say, it was a bad day. I came home and I tried to tackle the project that I'd begun and I couldn't.  The room I had been so excited about the week before made me sad. I told myself that we'd gotten pregnant so quickly, it would happen again and, when it did, I'd finish the room. Well it didn't happen and then the room wasn't just a reminder of that first miscarriage, it was a reminder that we were getting closer and closer to that year mark that signifies that this just isn't going to be easy for us so the room became a place to toss stuff that didn't have a home and now it's a giant storage space for stuff that just needs to be sorted through and probably mostly tossed.

I'm well aware that this room and it's disaster that was left behind drives my husband insane, but the idea of tackling it up until now has just seemed  like a sad process. This month is different, because regardless of the results, we know what's next. We are either going to have a baby because I'm pregnant or we are going to start the adoption process. Either way, we have a child to prepare for which brings the excitement back to getting the maybe baby's room in line. So next weekend I get to prepare to welcome a new little baby or get ready for a home study that will bring a child to us in a different way. Next weekend will be a celebration regardless of the results, it's time to start the next chapter, not to mention, Marty will be very happy that that room isn't full of crap anymore!

1 comment:

  1. This post is exciting in so many ways Ariane. I LOVE it! Pregnant or seeking adoption one or another a baby is going to occupy that room so no better time than NOW to start preparing. I bet once you get started in the clean up process it will become a sense of emotional healing for you. You will begin to see that getting rid of the clutter that has over taken the "will be nursery" and preparing for a new addition is just the remedy you need to look forward to the next adventure. Whether the next step be pregnancy or adoption a baby is going to need that space! :)