The bed rest on the other hand is getting to me...I'm still keeping busy, but as those of you who know me know, sitting around is not my thing so I'm certainly getting a little more emotional about it all and a lot more stir crazy. I miss walking Jovian and running to Target when I "need" something, I miss meeting friends for happy hour or dinner, and I really miss yoga! I'm still able to do a few yoga postures a day on my own, but the community of a prenatal yoga class is so much more enriching.
The stir crazy I can handle, the crazy emotional is another story! I got to get out of the house for a breastfeeding class this week and have determined they should have separate classes for us crazy high risk pregnant ladies, because there is a good chance we just aren't going to fit the "this is what will happen" mold. One of the first parts of the class was a piece about getting off to a good start with breastfeeding and the teacher was telling us how important that first hour of bonding is, how we should all put in our birth plans that we want an hour of skin to skin contact before they take babies off for weights and measurement and all of that. Well as she's describing how amazing this hour is, I, of course, burst into tears. This is not an hour I'm likely to get for quite a while after our boys are here. I don't know if I'll even get to see them before they are rushing them off for special care! I got it together for the rest of the class and then started crying on the drive home, and on and off for the next 24 hours at just about anything I attempted to watch on TV or read. I believe I've come back to a more stable place emotionally, but let's just say when you are not allowed out and about, those things which shake you up are much more difficult to move on from.
So all in all 26 weeks has been a healthy week for babies and mama physically, but a trying week emotionally. This week has a lot of visitors lined up so I'm hoping that will keep me on the cheery side of my emotions! I did manage to smile for the 26 week photo...and with Marty by my side, there will always be laughter in between the fits of crazy pregnancy emotions!
If it makes you feel any better my son was born at 31 weeks for no reason at all other then he just wanted to come hang out. I got to hold him for maybe 3 minutes before they took him to the NIC-U and regardless of that "hour" shes talking about being right after birth or two days later (it was for us.) it is no less special and no less amazing and such a sweet moment. People think that the way they've done things for years is always the best way and that isn't always true - you will bond with them and boys ALWAYS love their mommas like CRAZY. Just breathe and enjoy the craziness cause it's nothing like whats gonna happen when ur home with them ;)
ReplyDeleteHey Ariane,
ReplyDeleteWe didn't get that time with Judah either. He was whisked away due to his breathing issues, and I didn't really get to hold him, or put him to the breast, until he was over 24 hours old. Nursing didn't really begin until he was out of the hospital, and I spent more time with my boobs hooked up to a pump than I did holding him for the first week - actually more than that, since I was pumping 8 times a day on top of nursing on demand. Breast feeding was not instantaneous, or easy - we supplemented with formula throughout. But with the help of a lactation consultant I got it together, and ended up nursing for 17 months.
Here's the thing I've realized/learned - babies have internal mechanisms that respond to your cues. When you finally get to hold them, they will feel the love that you and Marty have for them. They don't learn a sense of attachment and safety in that first hour, they learn it by having the two of you respond to their needs consistantly, by hearing your voices, seeing your faces, getting good snuggles, throughout their young lives. You'll be able to provide all of those things, and as a Mama so in tune to the risks of early delivery and multiples pregnancy, I'm sure you'll provide for them better than most!
The whole "first hour" thing is a great idea for a normal, uncomplicated birth, but to those of us who it doesn't apply to - we can be left feeling like failures because we can't do those things. While it's important to acknowledge and grieve those moments we don't get to have, I think it's equally important to acknowledge that being a parent is basically a lifetime of compromises and making things work. Those people who got to hold their kids during that first hour will have other compromises to make down the line. Meanwhile, you and Marty will have something those parents won't have - a deep appreciation for your babies being here safe and sound, and the knowledge that you will find ways to connect with and care for them no matter the circumstances.
Lots of love to you, Marty, and the Alphabet Crew!
Wren
Thank you both so much for your stories and experiences I know in my heart I have a life time of amazing memories to make with my boys and that first hour will fade away so quickly once I have them in my arms! Thanks to you both, you brought tears to my eyes (good ones, not the crazy too much time on bed rest ones)
ReplyDeleteAwesome! And, as annoying as it for me even to say-- get used to missing stuff. I still miss yoga! Thanks for the picture! Love seeing your smiling face.
ReplyDeleteTanya
Oh you poor thing! I, too had a few precious moments with JT before she was whisked off for testing. I had to pump and dump for the first 24 hrs due to some communication problms between the lactation consultants and the people filling my IV with contrast. It wasn't the greatest start, but we survived! The Lactation consultants are great for encouraging. BUT, when they say nursing isn't supposed to hurt, they're full of bologna! Birth plan, schmirth plan. Neither of my labors followed 'the plan'. You are gifted at going with the flow...which is why you and Marty have been blessed with 3! The rest of us are too neurotic to handle it. We can't wait to meet those who will no longer be your coffee table! :-)
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